Tres

I was listening to this lecture from some dude, talking about our evolutionary nature and how it applies to dating. We fuck like chipmunks, yeah that’s a given. But he was basically getting at how, in his words, “attraction is not a choice”. Meaning, in other words, that attraction is something influenced, we do not influence it. I could imagine this concept being universalized.

I agree that attraction has nothing to do with logic; saying “I should like him” or “I should like that” is an illustration of our want-to-wants vs. our wants. When attraction is felt, we sit passively and simply feel what we feel whether we like it or not.

But then it makes me wonder how much of our choice is merely an illusion, being that what we are attracted to in the general sense is not a choice. Sure we may see something we'd like to want, and cultivate some sort of desire towards it over time, but in the moment attraction is not a choice.

If I’m trying to choose between Busty Deviates and Missionary Crusaders at the porno store, well then let me think. I am a man of passion. I prefer B cups to D cups. Missionary Crusaders it is! As I’m thinking about it, I’m not using thought to choose what I should buy so much as I am using thought to figure what I feel like buying. Correct? "Hmm, what porno do I feel like today..." I’m using words to sort out my sentiments, but it is this exact progression of thought in which most people suppose they are truly in the process of making a completely free choice – as if they were dictating their feelings as opposed to being on the brunt of them.

So I buy Missionary Crusaders. According to the dictionary I have made a choice, but I’m not so concerned with words so much as I am the concepts behind them. And if my choice was based on unchosen attraction then I question whether or not I was simply acting, as opposed to choosing. Where is our say in the matter if we can't escape our feelings? Can it be summed up to say that our only choice is saying "no" or "yes" to our impulses? But isn't our willingness to answer that, strongly or weakly, influenced as well?

How free are we? I could go on for miles but I chose to stop now. I think.